


Brighter than a thousand stars

by pretendiamcool



Series: Brighter with you [1]
Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:42:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24478135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretendiamcool/pseuds/pretendiamcool
Summary: "Their eyes met for just a second as the next blow landed on his shoulder. There wasn’t an ounce of any kind of regret or desperation, only overwhelming love. And the rush of emotions that hit Aman right at that moment was too complicated, too intense to make head or tail of it but the sense of finality and commitment he felt made him spur into action. He couldn’t let Shankar Tripathi take out all his anger and frustration on his lover."What if the scene of Kartik being beaten had played out rather differently?
Relationships: Aman Tripathi & Goggle Tripathi, Kartik Singh & Goggle Tripathi, Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Series: Brighter with you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780183
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34





	Brighter than a thousand stars

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my new fic! This will probably be a one-shot for now! I'm almost sure that this isn't going to be a very nice ride so sorry! And also, this is not beta read so bear with me please? Anywayy, let's get on with this!
> 
> Enjoy!

  
Kartik could feel himself hyperventilating, his breaths coming out as shorter gasps rather than measured breathing. He could feel and hear the blood pounding in his ears, his vision blurring. There doesn’t seem to be enough air around him to pull into his desperate lungs. This wasn’t how everything was supposed to turn out. It should have ended with Aman's family accepting him or at the very least being open to the idea of a discussion. He had been so very sure of the plan after Goggle (or rather Rajni) had confronted him about giving up on Aman and their love when they had been travelling back here. He had donned the rainbow cape around his neck and had stepped onto the terrace of the Tripathi house with conviction. It was maybe a bit too over the top but it was in the end his desperate attempt to get Aman back without the consequence of his family being lost. 

  
He had of course expected some kind of resistance from the family, especially Shankar Tripathi, who had actually vomited and passed out after seeing them kiss on the train. But he had held out hope. Hope that they would eventually understand at some point. And he had even been prepared for the worst case scenario of a reaction similar to his father’s. And when he did see the head of the Tripathi family coming back with that long stick in his hand, he had dragged back up all his walls and readied himself. Because there’s no way that he would be allowing them to lay a hand on Aman. Not that he thought they would in all actuality, because as of yet they hadn’t at least done anything other than try to change his mind and dump all the blame on Kartik. But he could see that Aman was hurting in his own way. He was being pulled on both sides, parts of his life that he shouldn’t have to chose between. His love or his family. And seeing Aman be so vulnerable was new to him. Of course, there had been tender moments that they had shared. Muttered confessions of love, eyes shining with love and devotion, but Aman had always been the stronger one in the relationship. The one who would soothe him and talk him through his nightmares and anxiety attacks. He was Kartik's rock and to see him break down internally was new and raw and utterly devastating. So, in conclusion, he could deal with all this once more, if only so that his boyfriend wouldn’t have to go through it like he had been forced to. 

  
As Shankar Tripathi strode forward, Aman ran upto his dad, begging him to stop. But the older man only pushed him aside, the momentum destroying his balance and he went down. He got up just as quickly, ignoring his scraped and bleeding palms as he tried running back towards Kartik. He could feel someone’s arms holding him back as his father raised the _lathi_ and brought it down onto his boyfriend’s back. He could feel his eyes brimming with tears as he heard Kartik's pained gasp. He knew that the other man was trying to hold back the pain, not letting it get out of his hand lest he start drowning again in buried memories. Their eyes met for just a second as the next blow landed on his shoulder. There wasn’t an ounce of any kind of regret or desperation, only overwhelming _love_. And the rush of emotions that hit Aman right at that moment was too complicated, too _intense_ to make head or tail of it but the sense of finality and commitment he felt made him spur into action. He couldn’t let Shankar Tripathi take out all his anger and frustration on his lover.

  
With a desperate attempt, he shoved whoever it was that was holding him, broke free of the grasp and ran forward just as he saw the third blow aimed for Kartik’s collar or neck or somewhere in between be brought down. He threw himself in front of his boyfriend, acting as a guard just in time for the blow to land on him rather than his beloved. It was probably the height difference but the hit meant for Kartik’s collar meant that the _lathi_ hit him square on the side of his head. 

  
The impact left him reeling back a bit and he felt himself collide into Kartik’s body. The shocked gasps that sounded around the courtyard made him want to laugh out loud but his head was pounding and doesn’t think he could make the laugh sound like what it was supposed to be. He imagined it would come out as a pained, laborious grunt than anything resembling a laugh. And he heard his father drop the _lathi_ in his surprise. He could feel the anger roiling in his mind at the thought that none of them except Goggle had even attempted to do anything for them and all of them had stood there looking at Shankar Tripathi bring a goddamn stick and start beating the hell out of _his boyfriend_. They had stood there as if getting beaten up for expressing and being themselves was supposed to be the new _normal_. 

  
He had had enough of the family drama and if they weren’t at the very least ready to _talk_ about it then he wasn’t going to stay around like a puppy starved for love. He had Kartik and that was more than enough for him if they weren’t up to being what a family was actually supposed to be – supporting, loving and understanding. As he felt the silence blanketing the courtyard, he spoke up, his voice coming out more gravelly than usual “What now? Why are you stopping because it’s me and not Kartik? We’re pretty much the same, so if there had actually been any reason for you to be hitting him, then the same reason would also apply to me. So, go on! There’s no need to stop for my sake okay?” Aman made a 'keep going' gesture with his hand to emphasize his words.

  
He could feel Kartik’s hands steadying him as he swayed where he stood and he could hear him trying to get him to calm down, “Aman, love, you need to sit down now, okay? You’re bleeding and all this shouting is not going to help. You know that right?” It’s only when Kartik points it out that Aman realises that he’s bleeding. He could feel the path that it traced on his skin as it trickled down slowly. His vision is starting to swim now but he can still hear Kartik talking, though it seems muffled and barely there. But even then, he could hear the tremors in his boyfriend’s voice, a tell tale sign of an approaching panic attack. He guesses that the sight of him, leaning his weight completely on Kartik and the blood wouldn’t be a pretty sight. He thinks he can even hear Goggle trying to help him now. Of course she would be the one to come for him. She had always been his best friend, the one person who had known the most about him, the one person who had _understood_ him.

  
He tries to open his eyes (when had he closed them?) and the face that greets him breaks his heart again. Kartik looks so terrified that he can’t help but raise his hand to the other man’s cheek and try to wipe away some of the tears. Kartik’s hand then covers his own, holding it tightly, as if he was afraid of Aman disappearing if it wasn’t for that contact. He tries smiling but it might have come off as more of a grimace. The pain isn’t too bad but that might have just been the adrenaline. Aman also doesn’t think that the injury is so bad. He had only received one blow, though he could concede that it had been to his head. But the fact that he _is_ still completely conscious has to mean that it’s not that bad right? It’s probably that fact that he had been standing and exerting himself even after that blow which might have caused more harm. Which would also explain why he felt so very dizzy. 

  
He felt the exact moment that his body sagged and Kartik helped him sit down with his head on his lap. He could feel one of the many uneven tiles of their courtyard digging into the skin on his back but the sensation only feels like a background annoyance. The courtyard was still mostly silent, except for his mother’s sobs and Goggle running back with a first aid kit (at least he hopes in his muddled brain that that’s what she’s brought). He doesn’t understand why all of them are still only standing there. Are they still in shock or something? He is still holding Kartik’s profusely shaking hand in his own clammy and sweaty one. 

  
He vividly remembers the first time he had encountered one of Kartik’s anxiety attacks. He had just come back from a job interview (which he was hopeful about and maybe he would get?) and had entered their home, wet and disgruntled after dealing with the incessant rain, when he found Kartik hunched over on the floor beside their couch. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he was rocking, muttering to himself. Aman had frozen in the doorway, mouth agape at the sight before him. It was as Kartik let loose another louder sob that Aman spurred into action and he dropped his bag onto the floor, kicking the door shut behind him. He ran forward and came to a stop, kneeling in front of his love. “Kartik?” he called out softly but predictably there was no reply. His hands were clenched tightly, knuckles almost white with the pressure and his eyes were screwed shut with tears leaking out of them and trailing down his cheeks. Aman called out to him again as he slowly extended his hand towards Kartik’s cheek. His heart squeezed painfully on seeing the sudden flinch that resulted from his proximity but he kept murmuring soothing words and phrases, steadily moving until he could wipe away the tears and put his arms around the guy he loved with everything he had. Just as he enveloped Kartik, intent on shielding him from any kind of hurt, the taller man sagged. With his head cradled against Aman’s chest, listening to his boyfriend’s caring voice and focusing on the hand rubbing circles on his back helped Kartik calm down a bit. He wasn’t sure how long they had been there, sitting on the floor with him holding Kartik as tightly as he could without making him feel trapped and suffocated. He had hoped that Kartik could feel all the love that he held for the man, he hoped that his affection and love and devotion was obvious and understood. 

  
“I love you Aman. So so much.” Kartik’s hold on him had tightened and he squeezed him back just as hard. “I love you too, love.” As he kept rocking them both, he could feel the tension drain out of Kartik’s body and saw his eyes fluttering close. And in the moments before sleep claimed him, he had heard the barely whispered words, “Keep holding me. Don’t leave please.”

  
“I promise I’ll never leave. Never.” He had whispered back just as quietly.

  
It had been one of the days in their relationship when he had been so truly and thoroughly scared and overwhelmed and sad but at the same time so very angry. Because, he _had_ by this time deduced that Kartik had had a very shitty childhood with a very useless father and he had known that they hadn’t been pretty days but seeing the consequences of those actions still lingering in so many ways other than the faded scars on his boyfriend’s back had made his blood boil and the surge of anger that he had felt that day still sometimes felt unreal. 

  
This was again one of the reasons that he had ran forward today because he had _promised_ never to leave and he would be damned if he broke that trust. 

  
Kartik was pure and so kind and so full of love that it made Aman’s heart burst with pride that this amazing, awesome guy had chosen for _him_ -the guy with a cagey personality and a tendency to be suspicious about everything and everyone around him- to love. Kartik’s heart was so completely filled with love, overflowing in its sheer strength and abundance even when he had been starved of those same emotions throughout his childhood. He wore his heart on his sleeve, emotions free for the world to see and read, so Aman had decided then and there that no matter what happened, he would stay there beside his love. Act as his shield, his support and any other role that would ever be needed. Because Kartik deserved the _whole world_ , and Aman was ready to tear anything down, if only so that all that happiness could be delivered right at Kartik’s doorstep. 

  
He came back out of his musings and memories to the present as he felt a burning sensation on his forehead. He turned slightly and saw Goggle squatting besides them, a cotton gauze dipped in antiseptic in her hand and a determined look on her face. He smiled slowly at her and she returned the gesture before continuing on with her mission of cleaning out his wound and covering it up. 

  
Kartik watched as Rajni fixed it up and stood up, pulling both of them with her. She stood in front of them, as if to guard them from her family. “They are my brothers. Nobody here has any right to hurt either of them. None of you came to look for me after the wedding. You were all so busy in the ' _rebirth_ ' of Aman right? How could you be so blinded and prejudiced as to declare that your son is dead so easily? And what if I hadn’t come back? What if something had happened? I had been in a really really bad place that night and was about to make one if the most stupid decisions I have ever made. It was Kartik that brought me back safe and what do you do then?” She laughed a bit hysterically after that, as if just realising the weight of her almost-made-decision and she hoped that her family got the implications perfectly. Keshav, who had been standing with his iPad clutched in his hand, walked slowly towards them and stood beside Goggle. “I don’t know what all of you plan to do now but I support them. He _is_ still our Aman bhaiyya and there’s no way that we’re not standing together.” He looked back at Aman and Kartik, standing together with Aman leaning on the taller guy who still had tear tracks on his face. But they were both smiling and the burst of pride that Aman felt for his cousins must have shown on his face because both of them beamed back at him. 

  
Aman realised then that no matter what life threw their way, he would always have these three people with him. He stepped forward then, dragging Kartik with him, “I know that you will probably take time to accept and understand, if ever. I mean, it even took me so long to come to terms with it and even then I hadn’t had the strength to open up for so many years. But I had hoped that you would have at the very least been open to some kind of discussion or that you would have been open to just listening to what I had to say instead of diving straight into the family drama. So I’ll clear one thing up. I will not be marrying Kusum and I’m sorry if you can’t accept it. We have made the first attempt, taken the first step and now the ball is in your court. What happens next is your decision.” He felt Kartik squeeze his hand at the end and he squeezed back, not having anything else to say. 

  
“Come on. We’ll go back home now.” He whispered to his boyfriend as he stood on his tip toes and pressed his lips to the taller man’s cheek. The blinding smile that he received in return was a thousand times more rewarding sight than anything the world could have ever conjured up because as long as they had each other and they kept fighting for their love, what else mattered right?

_I’ll stand by your side and never leave._

_I'll love you with all that I am and will ever be._

_Because you, my love,_

_Are brighter than a thousand stars could ever be._

**Author's Note:**

> Soo, how was it? This just hit me out of nowhere and I started writing this a while ago but only finished it tonight. And it's after 2:30 right now, so you get me right? I'm sleep deprived and exhausted so I don't actually know why I wrote this now? But I wante dto post it. The narration is so not proper and it might be (who am I kidding? It probably is) a bit too broken?  
> Anyway, do please leave a comment if you did (however surprisingly) like it!  
> And you can still comment even if you didn't enjoy it (which at this stage I suppose is more probable considering how off my writing has been in this one) because constructive criticism is totally appreciated.  
> Thank you!
> 
> ~Adi


End file.
